One of the greatest thoughts that has ever passed through my mind is the thought that one day I will be married to a woman whom I will adore and will be my everything. I will be placed into a position by God where I am held accountable as leader over my wife, children, and home. This is a call to great responsibility and assessment of who I am and what I stand for.
Going back many years to when I was a senior in high school I would often think to myself, “I can’t wait to date, I’m gonna be a wild man and its going to be awesome!” Then one day I saw something on TV that I laughed at, I thought that it was the most ridiculous thing anyone would ever do. It was a look inside of a conservative Christian household. The oldest son was engaged to be married and he was saving his first kiss for his wife, for their wedding day together at the altar before God. Shortly after this time in my life, I was born again by God’s miraculous free gift of grace and my outlooks and views on certain things began to change. Dating was one of them.
This is a message to young people, but I would like to also address this to all singles, those who are in a relationship, to be engaged, already engaged, or even married..so that just about makes all of us. Are you involved in a relationship and are yet to be married? If so I want you to consider this. I want to challenging you today to stop engaging in all physical actions that you call “affection.” Stop the kissing, all the inappropriate touching, and all of the sexual acts and see how long your relationship actually lasts.
Ladies, I want you to realize that there are very few men out there who actually care about you for who you are. This may sound harsh but is true. Most guys will see a girl, think shes pretty good looking, try to sweep her off her feet, and once he has her he knows he can get just about whatever he wants. And then they tell their friends about the experiences they have with you. No reservations. It’s wrong, it’s disgusting, and you as a woman are worth so much more than that. Many women feel pressured into engaging in a sexual relationship with a guy to impress (or keep) him, this is not love. Most men will try to take advantage of you, don’t let that happen. Many people believe that love is about satisfying or physical desires. Love is not about a wanting for the physical, but it is an understanding, a longing, a growing, and a yearning for another person. Love is a person. Love was the selflessness displayed at the cross where the Son of God laid down His life for the sins of many. Unless you have experienced the power of His love through saving grace you will never be able to understand or experience true love as God intended it.
Why? Because His life is life giving and those who are beneficiaries of His life–how important it is to count the cost. It cost Him everything. Not only physical death on the cross but a complete and total denial of Himself in all of His moments which carried to the very last moment that He cried out, “It is finished!” Until you’ve come into radical union with Christ, you’ll never be able to die to your flesh that another might live and be given life that flows abundantly with joy.
Guys, will you be leaders or players? You say that you have feelings for this girl? Let it be evident by the way that you treat her. Your actions must speak louder than your words. Respect her beyond comprehension. Listen to what is important to her, be honest all that you say to her. Cherish her and the moments that you have with her. Lead her. Teach her. Be a shepherd who guides her to Christ. Learn from her and grow in God with her towards what is pure. Protect her with all your life and be true to her. Don’t do things that defile her body. Your body is a temple for God. Always remember, she does not belong to you, she is a daughter of the Living God. If you are not married to her, why would you want to take something that is not yours to take? My brothers, it is time to stand up and be leaders. Leaders in our homes, leaders in our churches, and leaders in a world that is at enmity with God. We must break away from the norm, yielding all things to Christ and allowing Him to fully dictate the terms by which we live our lives.
This is the calling. Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” ~ Ephesians 5:25-27
Are you contending against the lies of this hour and battling fiercely for love? If so, why do you go from person to person, relationship after relationship, giving pieces of your heart away to others when one day you will be married to one person who you will spend the rest of your life with? Yes, it actually matters! Why even plan a wedding when your relationship is nothing more than lust? Do you think that marriage will somehow fix that? How many couples get married and there is no love present, all to find years down the road that reality is brought to the surface and its end is devastation.
This calling is an incredibly difficult road to take and nothing about it will be easy. Remember, marriage is not the final goal. The difficulties of life surely don’t end or become easier when two become one. They grow far more difficult and intense. The flesh will rage inside of you. It must be put to death daily that the other might live and be sanctified in Christ. Resilient marriage that endures to the end must be contended for fiercely.
Consider the present condition of your current relationship. Would you be with that person today had you not engaged physically with them? I’m not talking to the point where there’s no attraction. I simply mean cut out everything that revs your body up. If you were to save your first kiss for your spouse, would that person you are in a relationship with hold true to your values? Do they actually care about you for who you are, or are they all over your body because you’ve allowed them to do so, and called it “love?” Access your worth. Strive in purity towards the high calling of Jesus Christ. Let us be so lost in love for the God who loved us that we know nothing else. Let our hearts be so jealous for Him and His kingdom calling that we know no others.
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and spirit which belong to God.” ~ 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
This message was written for my future wife. I am so excited to meet you and I pray for you daily! You are a precious gem that shines and will be so worth the wait.